Bawdy Songs for a Sassy Siren:
PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS
By Adrienne de Wolfe
Schlock. That’s what my high school English teacher called my best
attempts at poetry when I was enrolled in his Creative Writing class.
attempts at poetry when I was enrolled in his Creative Writing class.
But the joke’s on Mr. Snooty, ‘cause nowadays, I’m a
bestselling author, who writes bawdy rhymes for her latest heroine:
a wise-cracking, pistol-packing torch-singer, who headlines in Dodge
City’s infamous Long Branch Saloon (1879.)
bestselling author, who writes bawdy rhymes for her latest heroine:
a wise-cracking, pistol-packing torch-singer, who headlines in Dodge
City’s infamous Long Branch Saloon (1879.)
I have to admit, I’m having a ball writing
schlock. (So go suck a lemon, Mr. Snooty.)
schlock. (So go suck a lemon, Mr. Snooty.)
I’m not exactly sure where the inspiration for Sadie
Michelson’s songs came from in my new novella. SHADY LADY is featured in
PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS, an Historical Western Romance Anthology that includes
works by two other bestselling authors: Barbara Ankrum and Sharon Ihle.
Michelson’s songs came from in my new novella. SHADY LADY is featured in
PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS, an Historical Western Romance Anthology that includes
works by two other bestselling authors: Barbara Ankrum and Sharon Ihle.
For decades, I’ve been terrified to
write anything even remotely like poetry for public consumption, thanks
to a certain harrowing writing class.
write anything even remotely like poetry for public consumption, thanks
to a certain harrowing writing class.
To make matters worse, I get knee-knocking scared
whenever I have to sing. In another of my high-school era
tragedies, I stood in an auditorium, packed with students and parents,
and forgot the lyrics to my Christmas solo.
whenever I have to sing. In another of my high-school era
tragedies, I stood in an auditorium, packed with students and parents,
and forgot the lyrics to my Christmas solo.
(Did I mention I HATED high school?)
Needless to say, Sadie is nothing like me. A
red-headed siren with a rapid-fire wit, my lusty heroine isn’t intimidated by
corrupt lawmen, drunken hecklers, raunchy gamblers, or sniveling high
school teachers.
red-headed siren with a rapid-fire wit, my lusty heroine isn’t intimidated by
corrupt lawmen, drunken hecklers, raunchy gamblers, or sniveling high
school teachers.
Sadie gave me the courage to write poetry again –
even if some of it might raise a stodgy eyebrow. Here’s a
snippet of her cowboy song from Shady
Lady:
even if some of it might raise a stodgy eyebrow. Here’s a
snippet of her cowboy song from Shady
Lady:
“Then came a Texas cowboy,
A downright orn’ry guy.
Bulgin’ at the chaps, he was,
With notches on his fly …”
Sadie sings the previous verse about her hot-headed,
gun-slinging lover, whom rival bawds have nicknamed the Rebel
Rutter. (I’ll leave the reason to your
imagination.) William “Cass” Cassidy also sings bawdy
songs, as you’ll see in the excerpted scene, below.
gun-slinging lover, whom rival bawds have nicknamed the Rebel
Rutter. (I’ll leave the reason to your
imagination.) William “Cass” Cassidy also sings bawdy
songs, as you’ll see in the excerpted scene, below.
But not all of my lyrics are bawdy. (Darn, huh?)
I penned two ballads and a love song, called Destiny, for
Sadie to sing when she and Cass return in my upcoming Historical Western
Romance, DEVIL IN TEXAS (Book 4, Velvet Lies.) Here’s a sneak preview of Destiny:
I penned two ballads and a love song, called Destiny, for
Sadie to sing when she and Cass return in my upcoming Historical Western
Romance, DEVIL IN TEXAS (Book 4, Velvet Lies.) Here’s a sneak preview of Destiny:
Suns may rise, stars may fail.
Worlds collide; love prevails.
Through all time, you and me,
Heart to heart, destiny.
So now you’re probably wondering: Did I ever
muster the courage to sing solos again? Yes, I did! Years
and years later (in another state, under another name,) I appeared in a variety
show. Nobody booed. (And I’m pretty sure none of them were
comatose!)
muster the courage to sing solos again? Yes, I did! Years
and years later (in another state, under another name,) I appeared in a variety
show. Nobody booed. (And I’m pretty sure none of them were
comatose!)
Excerpt from
SHADY LADY, a Novella
By Adrienne deWolfe
from the Anthology
PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS
“Cass, I’m busy. Can’t
you see I’m writing a song?”
you see I’m writing a song?”
He recalled that Sadie turned
into a fire-breathing dragon if someone dared to interrupt her creative
frenzies. He cocked his head, plotting his strategy to whisk her off to the
river.
into a fire-breathing dragon if someone dared to interrupt her creative
frenzies. He cocked his head, plotting his strategy to whisk her off to the
river.
His ornery lover was sitting
with her spine propped up by pillows against the headboard of her unmade bed.
Her glorious red-gold curls tumbled in every conceivable direction over the
sagging, ebony lace of her night wrapper. A sea of yellowed papers surrounded
her exquisitely long legs, bared up to the thighs. Those papers had lots of
black lines, little bitty symbols, and tea-cup stains.
with her spine propped up by pillows against the headboard of her unmade bed.
Her glorious red-gold curls tumbled in every conceivable direction over the
sagging, ebony lace of her night wrapper. A sea of yellowed papers surrounded
her exquisitely long legs, bared up to the thighs. Those papers had lots of
black lines, little bitty symbols, and tea-cup stains.
In fact, the whole room smelled
like mint and rosehips, Sadie’s favorite brew. The teapot – and a pair of
greasy, sunny-side-up eggs – sat forgotten where she’d left them: on a chipped
china platter atop the traveling trunk at the foot of her bed.
like mint and rosehips, Sadie’s favorite brew. The teapot – and a pair of
greasy, sunny-side-up eggs – sat forgotten where she’d left them: on a chipped
china platter atop the traveling trunk at the foot of her bed.
“The sun is shining!” he
cajoled.
cajoled.
“Yes, well, it’s daylight, isn’t
it?” she retorted absently, her bare toes wiggling to some inner rhythm as she
scribbled a few more symbols on the paper in her lap.
it?” she retorted absently, her bare toes wiggling to some inner rhythm as she
scribbled a few more symbols on the paper in her lap.
She’d barely glanced his way. He
steeled himself against a flare of temper. He was Coyote Cass, after all. He
could charm the rattle off of rattlers.
steeled himself against a flare of temper. He was Coyote Cass, after all. He
could charm the rattle off of rattlers.
Strolling to the side of the
bed, he was careful to keep his expression enthusiastic rather than
provocative. There would be plenty of time for romping in the daisies and
buttercups, where he planned to spread a blanket, pop a bottle of champagne,
and practice all the creative ways that Sadie had taught him how to use whipped
cream and berries. Maybe even honey.
bed, he was careful to keep his expression enthusiastic rather than
provocative. There would be plenty of time for romping in the daisies and
buttercups, where he planned to spread a blanket, pop a bottle of champagne,
and practice all the creative ways that Sadie had taught him how to use whipped
cream and berries. Maybe even honey.
“What’s that chubby, black dot
with the flagpole rising out of it?” he asked, knowing full well that it was a
musical symbol.
with the flagpole rising out of it?” he asked, knowing full well that it was a
musical symbol.
“Music.”
“What kind of music?” he
persisted, undaunted by her growl.
persisted, undaunted by her growl.
She blew a curl off her
forehead. “The usual kind.”
forehead. “The usual kind.”
“A love ballad?”
Her stylus paused as those tawny
Tiger eyes glared up at him. He just loved when Sadie glared. He didn’t mind
arguing with the hellcat one bit. Not when her make-up sex was so divine.
Tiger eyes glared up at him. He just loved when Sadie glared. He didn’t mind
arguing with the hellcat one bit. Not when her make-up sex was so divine.
“When have you ever heard
me sing about love?” she snapped.
me sing about love?” she snapped.
“Maybe it’s time.”
She muttered something under her
breath that sounded like, “Dreamer.”
breath that sounded like, “Dreamer.”
Smirking, he thought fast. The
only person in the world who thrived on competition more than he did was Sadie.
Calling upon a credible baritone – one that she had once described as “lyrical”
– he belted out an improvised rhyme:
only person in the world who thrived on competition more than he did was Sadie.
Calling upon a credible baritone – one that she had once described as “lyrical”
– he belted out an improvised rhyme:
“With
looks that drive the gals insane,
looks that drive the gals insane,
He
rides them like a hurricane . . .”
rides them like a hurricane . . .”
His musical lampoon succeeded.
Her lips twitched. Her stylus actually lowered.
Her lips twitched. Her stylus actually lowered.
“Not bad,” she conceded
grudgingly. “Where did you hear that? From Wilma’s piano player?”
grudgingly. “Where did you hear that? From Wilma’s piano player?”
“Hell, no. I made it up.”
“You did not.”
“I did too!”
She hiked a challenging eyebrow.
“Right here? On the spot?”
“Right here? On the spot?”
“Damn straight! Wanna hear
another?”
another?”
Hooking his thumbs over his gun
belt, he swaggered around the room, acting adorable.
belt, he swaggered around the room, acting adorable.
“He
rides like greased lightning atop his black steed,
rides like greased lightning atop his black steed,
The
handsome young Ranger, renowned for good deeds,
handsome young Ranger, renowned for good deeds,
To
rescue the damsel, alone in her bed
rescue the damsel, alone in her bed
From
cold eggs and boredom and songs in her head.
cold eggs and boredom and songs in her head.
Away
to the river, he carries the lass
to the river, he carries the lass
To
woo her and feed her and kiss her bare . . . ”
woo her and feed her and kiss her bare . . . ”
“Cass!” she shrieked, her laughter ringing through
the room in merry peals.
the room in merry peals.
He chuckled, enjoying her earthy
humor. “I reckon Cass rhymes, too.”
humor. “I reckon Cass rhymes, too.”
“You are a pest. And pests
should be spanked.”
should be spanked.”
“Never argue with a lady.
That’s my motto.”
That’s my motto.”
“Is it, now?” She
tossed aside her stylus and swung her naked feet to the floor. “Since
when?”
tossed aside her stylus and swung her naked feet to the floor. “Since
when?”
“Since I was… uh…
” He gulped. “Sun-up?”
” He gulped. “Sun-up?”
He’d lost the use of his brain
the moment she’d started shrugging off that scanty black waterfall of lace.
Nothing but freckles adorned her alabaster flesh now.
the moment she’d started shrugging off that scanty black waterfall of lace.
Nothing but freckles adorned her alabaster flesh now.
“Maybe you’ve confused me
with someone else, lover,” she drawled.
with someone else, lover,” she drawled.
She was prowling closer, all
sizzle and sin. By the time she halted before him, his loins were hot, and his
mouth was watering. Those wicked, feline eyes laughed up at him.
sizzle and sin. By the time she halted before him, his loins were hot, and his
mouth was watering. Those wicked, feline eyes laughed up at him.
“Do I look like a damsel in
distress to you?”
distress to you?”
“Uh… ” Trick
question, some lucid part of his brain warned. “You look like my
heaven,” he rallied gamely.
question, some lucid part of his brain warned. “You look like my
heaven,” he rallied gamely.
“Aw. Isn’t that
sweet?” A dimple flirted with her cherry-red lips. “Who taught you
how to lie so prettily? That Injun half-breed?”
sweet?” A dimple flirted with her cherry-red lips. “Who taught you
how to lie so prettily? That Injun half-breed?”
“Lynx doesn’t like to be
called -—”
called -—”
“I’m more interested in
what I like,” she purred. “And what I like is naked cowboys .
. . ”
what I like,” she purred. “And what I like is naked cowboys .
. . ”
PISTOLS AND PETTICOATS
BOOK DESCRIPTION
From bestselling authors Barbara Ankrum, Adrienne deWolfe
and Sharon Ihle come three fresh novellas, featuring three firebrand ladies,
each determined to make her mark while making her match.
and Sharon Ihle come three fresh novellas, featuring three firebrand ladies,
each determined to make her mark while making her match.
ETHAN’S BRIDE –
27,000 word sequel to CHASE THE FIRE
(Wild Western Hearts, Book 4) Violet Bradford desperately wants a child.
Believing herself barren, she answers Dr. Ethan Walker’s advertisement for a
mail-order bride in Colorado, knowing he only wants one thing: a mother for his
young daughter. Surely the joys of motherhood can compensate for a loveless
marriage. But Ethan’s broken heart won’t stop tugging at hers. And Ethan soon
realizes he must risk his heart again or risk losing it all.
27,000 word sequel to CHASE THE FIRE
(Wild Western Hearts, Book 4) Violet Bradford desperately wants a child.
Believing herself barren, she answers Dr. Ethan Walker’s advertisement for a
mail-order bride in Colorado, knowing he only wants one thing: a mother for his
young daughter. Surely the joys of motherhood can compensate for a loveless
marriage. But Ethan’s broken heart won’t stop tugging at hers. And Ethan soon
realizes he must risk his heart again or risk losing it all.
SHADY LADY –
26,000 word prequel to DEVIL IN TEXAS
(Velvet Lies, Book 4) Fiery singing sensation, Sadie Michelson, thinks falling
in love is bad for business—until William “Cass” Cassidy, a hotheaded
gunslinger, sets his sights on wooing her. But when a Texas Ranger arrives in
Dodge City to extradite Cass for a crime of passion, Sadie must use all her
wits and wiles to lure the law from her man’s trail. And that means risking
everything—including Cass’s love.
26,000 word prequel to DEVIL IN TEXAS
(Velvet Lies, Book 4) Fiery singing sensation, Sadie Michelson, thinks falling
in love is bad for business—until William “Cass” Cassidy, a hotheaded
gunslinger, sets his sights on wooing her. But when a Texas Ranger arrives in
Dodge City to extradite Cass for a crime of passion, Sadie must use all her
wits and wiles to lure the law from her man’s trail. And that means risking
everything—including Cass’s love.
BAREBACK BRIDE –
25,000 word sequel to THE BRIDE WORE
SPURS (The Inconvenient Bride Series, Book 1) Expert horsewoman, Shannon
Winterhawke runs away from home to join the Buffalo Bill Wild West
extravaganza. Shannon is hired on the spot, but the show’s head horseman, Seth
Edwards, simply sees another flighty gal looking for a cowboy fling before
settling down with some unsuspecting fool. But all bets are off as Shannon
slowly sneaks into Seth’s heart and lassoes him with his own rope
25,000 word sequel to THE BRIDE WORE
SPURS (The Inconvenient Bride Series, Book 1) Expert horsewoman, Shannon
Winterhawke runs away from home to join the Buffalo Bill Wild West
extravaganza. Shannon is hired on the spot, but the show’s head horseman, Seth
Edwards, simply sees another flighty gal looking for a cowboy fling before
settling down with some unsuspecting fool. But all bets are off as Shannon
slowly sneaks into Seth’s heart and lassoes him with his own rope
About Adrienne de Wolfe
Adrienne
deWolfe is a #1 bestselling author of action-packed Historical Romance novels,
where feisty Heroines buck the conventions and true Heroes must be wickedly
funny. Currently, she is writing Devil in Texas, Book 4 in her Velvet Lies Series (September 2014.) For sneak peeks of her
sassy ladies and sizzling rogues, visit http://ebookdiscovery.com.p8.hostingprod.com/AdrienneDeWolfe
deWolfe is a #1 bestselling author of action-packed Historical Romance novels,
where feisty Heroines buck the conventions and true Heroes must be wickedly
funny. Currently, she is writing Devil in Texas, Book 4 in her Velvet Lies Series (September 2014.) For sneak peeks of her
sassy ladies and sizzling rogues, visit http://ebookdiscovery.com.p8.hostingprod.com/AdrienneDeWolfe
Twitter: http://Twitter.com/AdriennedeWolfe
Facebook:
http://Facebook.com/Writing.Novels
http://Facebook.com/Writing.Novels
Website:
http://WildTexasNights.com
http://WildTexasNights.com
Website:
http://WritingNovelsThatSell.com
http://WritingNovelsThatSell.com
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