When you’re
working on your manuscripts, do you dread scraping your insides raw to produce the
reality of honest-to-goodness tragedies? I’m talking about those sad times that
people suffer through in real life. The very ones, as authors, we must create
in our stories.
working on your manuscripts, do you dread scraping your insides raw to produce the
reality of honest-to-goodness tragedies? I’m talking about those sad times that
people suffer through in real life. The very ones, as authors, we must create
in our stories.
Let’s face
it, the times when you feel as if your heart won’t make it through the next few
minutes, and you just want to give up, is hard enough to live through never mind
write about. But to be a good novelist and reproduce a story about real people,
it’s essential. Otherwise, our characters will end up like paper dolls, flat
and boring. Sure we can dress them up pretty and move them around the pages, but
if they don’t have real emotions, then the conflicts we subject them to won’t
come alive for our readers.
it, the times when you feel as if your heart won’t make it through the next few
minutes, and you just want to give up, is hard enough to live through never mind
write about. But to be a good novelist and reproduce a story about real people,
it’s essential. Otherwise, our characters will end up like paper dolls, flat
and boring. Sure we can dress them up pretty and move them around the pages, but
if they don’t have real emotions, then the conflicts we subject them to won’t
come alive for our readers.
I’ve read
books like that myself and never finished them. On the other hand, I’ve read
stories where the author tries to effect emotions that don’t ring true. They’re
just words without any substance or genuineness and it’s noticeable – at least
to me.
books like that myself and never finished them. On the other hand, I’ve read
stories where the author tries to effect emotions that don’t ring true. They’re
just words without any substance or genuineness and it’s noticeable – at least
to me.
Every time I
write a touching passage full of disturbing words that I hope will bring out some
feeling in the reader, I worry about whether I’ve taken it too far… or not far
enough. I figure if tears appear while I’m writing the words, then chances are they
will affect the reader in the same way.
write a touching passage full of disturbing words that I hope will bring out some
feeling in the reader, I worry about whether I’ve taken it too far… or not far
enough. I figure if tears appear while I’m writing the words, then chances are they
will affect the reader in the same way.
For
instance, one passage I wrote in Together Always makes me bawl like a
baby every time I review it. But I wonder – is it too much…? At the time, it
seemed perfect for the characters.
instance, one passage I wrote in Together Always makes me bawl like a
baby every time I review it. But I wonder – is it too much…? At the time, it
seemed perfect for the characters.
Example:
My heroine, Grace Joye, wakes up in another woman’s body terrified of the man who she now
has to accept as her husband. Afraid he
won’t let her play the role of his wife; she lies in the hospital bed and
worries about what will happen. This day, he comes to visit and brings their
son. The boy he caught his wife beating just before her accident.
My heroine, Grace Joye, wakes up in another woman’s body terrified of the man who she now
has to accept as her husband. Afraid he
won’t let her play the role of his wife; she lies in the hospital bed and
worries about what will happen. This day, he comes to visit and brings their
son. The boy he caught his wife beating just before her accident.
Finally she couldn’t stand the tension another minute.
“Is something wrong, Lucas?”
“Is something wrong, Lucas?”
He stopped and sat in the nearby visitor’s chair,
surveying her from head to toe, his eyes like a laser as they travelled her
length. Then he zeroed in on her face. She could have sworn the man’s
expressive smoky-blues were pleading and for some unknown reason a sickening
rush of shame curdled her insides.
surveying her from head to toe, his eyes like a laser as they travelled her
length. Then he zeroed in on her face. She could have sworn the man’s
expressive smoky-blues were pleading and for some unknown reason a sickening
rush of shame curdled her insides.
“Yes. I have to ask you a favor, and I honestly don’t
know what will work best, a bribe or a threat.”
know what will work best, a bribe or a threat.”
“My goodness. It sounds serious. Why use either? I’d
be more than happy to grant you whatever you ask, be that it won’t harm
anyone.”
be more than happy to grant you whatever you ask, be that it won’t harm
anyone.”
He shook his head and sighed. “I don’t get it. You’re
different. And I don’t trust you. But your son needs you, and as much as I wish
I could deal with this, you’re the only person who can. Now I know you’ve never
wanted anything to do with Samuel. But
for once in your selfish life, I’m asking you to behave like a mother.” The
scorn he showered her with felt like shots of acid burning her soul.
different. And I don’t trust you. But your son needs you, and as much as I wish
I could deal with this, you’re the only person who can. Now I know you’ve never
wanted anything to do with Samuel. But
for once in your selfish life, I’m asking you to behave like a mother.” The
scorn he showered her with felt like shots of acid burning her soul.
His words slapped her soft heart and she felt battered
enough to pass out. What did he mean? She didn’t want anything to do with her
own son? What kind of woman could possibly feel that way? Despite his glaring,
she picked up on his desperation and her spirit snapped into place. The
backbone vital to dealing with her particular life’s challenges had kicked in
with a vengeance. She clenched her
teeth, swallowed, then spoke gently.
enough to pass out. What did he mean? She didn’t want anything to do with her
own son? What kind of woman could possibly feel that way? Despite his glaring,
she picked up on his desperation and her spirit snapped into place. The
backbone vital to dealing with her particular life’s challenges had kicked in
with a vengeance. She clenched her
teeth, swallowed, then spoke gently.
“Of course I’ll help. What is it he needs?”
“You must understand, Sam’s very fragile right now and
I won’t have him upset. But he’s also blaming himself for your accident and is
making himself ill over it all. Between the lad’s nightmares and loss of
appetite, I feel scared and well…rather frantic. Last evening, he finally broke
down and told me what’s been making him so unhappy.”
I won’t have him upset. But he’s also blaming himself for your accident and is
making himself ill over it all. Between the lad’s nightmares and loss of
appetite, I feel scared and well…rather frantic. Last evening, he finally broke
down and told me what’s been making him so unhappy.”
“Oh, the poor baby. What did he say?”
“Seems he feels responsible for your being in the
hospital.”
hospital.”
“Why in the world would he think that?”
“You don’t remember?” His searching gaze probed her
innocence and seemed satisfied when she shook her head. “Before you ran from
the house, you’d been angry with him. In fact, you were furious.” Again, his
penetrating stare drilled into her as he leaned closer and watched her
expressions. She knew he’d see confusion and empathy because those were the
emotions that roiled inside.
innocence and seemed satisfied when she shook her head. “Before you ran from
the house, you’d been angry with him. In fact, you were furious.” Again, his
penetrating stare drilled into her as he leaned closer and watched her
expressions. She knew he’d see confusion and empathy because those were the
emotions that roiled inside.
“You really don’t remember, do you, Vanessa?”
“No. Nothing. It’s all blank.”
Her answer seemed to satisfy Lucas who stood tall and
resumed his wandering. “He made me
promise to bring him here to see you. Now, I want your promise that you’ll be
kind and tell him he’s not to blame. Trust me. If there were any other way to
settle this, to clear his little mind from the torture he’s undergoing, I would
do so in a flash. But it seems you’re the only person who can help him.”
resumed his wandering. “He made me
promise to bring him here to see you. Now, I want your promise that you’ll be
kind and tell him he’s not to blame. Trust me. If there were any other way to
settle this, to clear his little mind from the torture he’s undergoing, I would
do so in a flash. But it seems you’re the only person who can help him.”
“Of course I ca—”
Lucas, caught up in his speech, swiveled and leaned
over her. “I’ve never begged you for anything Vanessa. I’ve given you
everything I thought would make you happy, but I’m begging you now. Please
don’t let our son grow up bearing this horrible burden. He’s been so unhappy.
I’ll give you anything—”
over her. “I’ve never begged you for anything Vanessa. I’ve given you
everything I thought would make you happy, but I’m begging you now. Please
don’t let our son grow up bearing this horrible burden. He’s been so unhappy.
I’ll give you anything—”
“Stop! Lucas, stop. You’re breaking my heart. I want
to see the boy and of course I’ll tell him it wasn’t his fault. Of course I
will.” Grace had reached out without knowing and had grasped Lucas’s hand. With
each assurance, she’d tightened her grip. Sincerity rang from her shaken voice
to where even she could hear it. “Is he here?”
to see the boy and of course I’ll tell him it wasn’t his fault. Of course I
will.” Grace had reached out without knowing and had grasped Lucas’s hand. With
each assurance, she’d tightened her grip. Sincerity rang from her shaken voice
to where even she could hear it. “Is he here?”
Seeming to be confused but hopeful, Lucas nodded,
swallowed and turned away quickly. “Yes, outside.” Did his voice wobble? She
could have sworn it did and, if nothing else, that chink in his armor told her
just how much the next few minutes would mean to him. She’d never let him down.
Not only was he a thoughtful man, but obviously a wonderful father. Sadly, it
seemed, he’d just chosen the wrong wife.
swallowed and turned away quickly. “Yes, outside.” Did his voice wobble? She
could have sworn it did and, if nothing else, that chink in his armor told her
just how much the next few minutes would mean to him. She’d never let him down.
Not only was he a thoughtful man, but obviously a wonderful father. Sadly, it
seemed, he’d just chosen the wrong wife.
He left, and a few moments later the door opened again
and Grace pulled herself higher in the bed and tucked her loose hair behind her
ears. One stroke of her now-smooth cheek settled her nerves and she smiled.
and Grace pulled herself higher in the bed and tucked her loose hair behind her
ears. One stroke of her now-smooth cheek settled her nerves and she smiled.
A small boy, dressed in short pants and a sweater, the
spitting image of his mother, crept into the room as if afraid he’d wake her
up. He stopped as soon as he passed the threshold, hesitating, waiting, fear
imprinted on his little boy features. His hands were clasped in front and Grace
could see how his fingers were pinching each other, twisting and rubbing. His
father, looming behind him, placed a supporting hand on his thin shoulder.
spitting image of his mother, crept into the room as if afraid he’d wake her
up. He stopped as soon as he passed the threshold, hesitating, waiting, fear
imprinted on his little boy features. His hands were clasped in front and Grace
could see how his fingers were pinching each other, twisting and rubbing. His
father, looming behind him, placed a supporting hand on his thin shoulder.
“Hello, Mother.”
“Samuel, I’m so glad you’ve come to see me. Please
come closer.” Grace motioned him over to her side. She smiled as gently as she
could, and a coaxing wiggle from her fingers and encouraging nods drew him
nearer.
come closer.” Grace motioned him over to her side. She smiled as gently as she
could, and a coaxing wiggle from her fingers and encouraging nods drew him
nearer.
“Daddy said you were better now. I wanted to see for
myself.”
myself.”
“Can you see from all the way over there? If you’d
like sit up here with me, then I’ll get to see you also.”
like sit up here with me, then I’ll get to see you also.”
First fear and then a blossoming pleasure filled his
little face. Green eyes, the twins of hers, lit up and a tiny smile emerged.
“Daddy? Can I?”
little face. Green eyes, the twins of hers, lit up and a tiny smile emerged.
“Daddy? Can I?”
“Sure, sport. If it’s okay with your mother, it’s fine
with me. Can you climb up alone or do you need a lift?”
with me. Can you climb up alone or do you need a lift?”
“A lift, please. I don’t want to hurt Mother
accidentally.”
accidentally.”
Grace spoke softly. “Oh, Sammy-son, you could never
hurt me.”
hurt me.”
Lucas’s head reared up at her words and his eyes
narrowed. Sam lifted his arms. Both man and boy hesitated at her bedside, not
sure what to do next.
narrowed. Sam lifted his arms. Both man and boy hesitated at her bedside, not
sure what to do next.
“Come and sit right here.” She patted the comforter
next to her. “Then I can hug you like I’ve wanted to do since you arrived.”
next to her. “Then I can hug you like I’ve wanted to do since you arrived.”
“You want to hug me?”
“Ever so much. Do you mind?”
The youngster carefully leaned toward her and that was
all the encouragement she needed. She gathered him to her, and as she soon as
she felt his arms go around her neck, she heard the sobs that wracked his
little body.
all the encouragement she needed. She gathered him to her, and as she soon as
she felt his arms go around her neck, she heard the sobs that wracked his
little body.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Don’t cry, my lad. Mummy’s
here.” All the while she soothed him, she rocked his little body back and forth
and placed kisses everywhere, his hair, his cheeks, on every surface covered
with tears.
here.” All the while she soothed him, she rocked his little body back and forth
and placed kisses everywhere, his hair, his cheeks, on every surface covered
with tears.
“Oh, Mother! I’m sorry I was such a bad boy. You were
so an…angry with me that you got into an ac…accident. It was my fault, wasn’t
it? You weren’t looking where you were going ‘cause I made you lose your
temper.”
so an…angry with me that you got into an ac…accident. It was my fault, wasn’t
it? You weren’t looking where you were going ‘cause I made you lose your
temper.”
The sobs grew louder and Grace became fearful that the
little guy would never stop. Hiccups wrenched his body and the wails broke her
heart into smithereens. Suddenly, she experienced a tremendous welling of
emotion from within and it overpowered her to where she felt she’d lose
consciousness. Afraid, staggering under the double onslaught, she reached her
hand toward the man whose eyes were brimming over.
little guy would never stop. Hiccups wrenched his body and the wails broke her
heart into smithereens. Suddenly, she experienced a tremendous welling of
emotion from within and it overpowered her to where she felt she’d lose
consciousness. Afraid, staggering under the double onslaught, she reached her
hand toward the man whose eyes were brimming over.
He came closer, gingerly sitting on the bed next to
them and rubbed his large hand gently over the boy’s back. It seemed to soothe
Sam and his cries quieted while he lay with his head nestled on her chest.
them and rubbed his large hand gently over the boy’s back. It seemed to soothe
Sam and his cries quieted while he lay with his head nestled on her chest.
Lucas spoke softly. “Take it easy, Samuel. Don’t cry
so. Everything is okay now.”
so. Everything is okay now.”
The boy refused to look up and burrowed even harder
into Grace’s embrace. “Sammy, please, you must stop or you’ll be sick. Listen,
baby, the road was slippery, and I wasn’t being careful. It was my fault the
car went off the road, not yours. I didn’t want to have to admit this but
here’s the truth: your mum’s a rotten driver.”
into Grace’s embrace. “Sammy, please, you must stop or you’ll be sick. Listen,
baby, the road was slippery, and I wasn’t being careful. It was my fault the
car went off the road, not yours. I didn’t want to have to admit this but
here’s the truth: your mum’s a rotten driver.”
“You are?” Hope lit up globby eyes of green glass, and
sniffles replaced the bawling from seconds earlier. His body relaxed and he
leaned away from her so he could stare into her face.
sniffles replaced the bawling from seconds earlier. His body relaxed and he
leaned away from her so he could stare into her face.
Grace had always had a soft spot for children, but
since they tended to shy away from her birthmark, she’d never had the pleasure
of any up-close relationships with them until they were sick and needed a
nurse. Then she’d been in her element.
since they tended to shy away from her birthmark, she’d never had the pleasure
of any up-close relationships with them until they were sick and needed a
nurse. Then she’d been in her element.
Having this precious little guy stare at her with such
adoration brimming out of his gorgeous eyes filled her heart. Love, such as
she’d never before experienced, overflowed and oozed into every pore and cell
until she belonged to him. From that moment on, she knew he’d be her first
consideration in the same way that a dog knows its own pup.
adoration brimming out of his gorgeous eyes filled her heart. Love, such as
she’d never before experienced, overflowed and oozed into every pore and cell
until she belonged to him. From that moment on, she knew he’d be her first
consideration in the same way that a dog knows its own pup.
She swallowed and prayed her voice wouldn’t break.
“I’m afraid so, Sammy-son. Actually, I’m really quite awful.”
“I’m afraid so, Sammy-son. Actually, I’m really quite awful.”
“Is that why you’d never take me anywhere with you?”
Sickened by the actions of the woman’s body she now
controlled, she shook off her anger and stared into his questioning, glistening
eyes, then nodded. “Uh huh! I’d never want anything to happen to you,
baby…ever!” She dropped a kiss on his soft blond hair. “But I promise you one
thing. From now on I’ll not go anywhere in a car until I’ve gotten lessons so I
can learn how to drive better.”
controlled, she shook off her anger and stared into his questioning, glistening
eyes, then nodded. “Uh huh! I’d never want anything to happen to you,
baby…ever!” She dropped a kiss on his soft blond hair. “But I promise you one
thing. From now on I’ll not go anywhere in a car until I’ve gotten lessons so I
can learn how to drive better.”
“Then you could take me with you.”
She looked up at Lucas, a question blazing. His nod
was hesitant but finally forthcoming.
was hesitant but finally forthcoming.
She smiled at the boy. “I would like that very much.”
The indecision the boy fought before he kissed her
cheek was telling and, oh so sad. She leaned forward ever so slightly,
encouragingly, and felt his warm lips caress the one area on her body that
needed the tender touch. She knew before falling asleep, and every night
afterward, she would relive that moment over and over again.
cheek was telling and, oh so sad. She leaned forward ever so slightly,
encouragingly, and felt his warm lips caress the one area on her body that
needed the tender touch. She knew before falling asleep, and every night
afterward, she would relive that moment over and over again.
She hugged Sam once more, and like little boys do, he
settled down beside her and curled up in her arms. With a loud sigh, his
eyelids began to droop. Sifting her fingers through his blond curls worked the
magic as he released one last quivering sound and then went limp.
settled down beside her and curled up in her arms. With a loud sigh, his
eyelids began to droop. Sifting her fingers through his blond curls worked the
magic as he released one last quivering sound and then went limp.
Lucas shifted and drew her attention. Still pale from
watching his son suffer, he rubbed at his cheek one side and then the other,
his hand finally covering his mouth as he leaned his chin onto it and stared at
her with his head angled to the left.
watching his son suffer, he rubbed at his cheek one side and then the other,
his hand finally covering his mouth as he leaned his chin onto it and stared at
her with his head angled to the left.
Mesmerized, his grey eyes compelling, she couldn’t
look away, not even a little. His held her prisoner, and having no talent or
skills in concealing her feelings, she knew her emotions were open to him like
a picture on a television screen. God,
don’t hurt me, she worried, her skin flushing hot and cold—terrified.
look away, not even a little. His held her prisoner, and having no talent or
skills in concealing her feelings, she knew her emotions were open to him like
a picture on a television screen. God,
don’t hurt me, she worried, her skin flushing hot and cold—terrified.
Before she knew what he would do next, he leaned over
and kissed the same cheek his son had moments earlier. When the little boy lips
had touched her skin, love had resulted. When the man’s lips touched the same
place, she thought she’d swoon. Never in her life had a moment been so
beautiful.
and kissed the same cheek his son had moments earlier. When the little boy lips
had touched her skin, love had resulted. When the man’s lips touched the same
place, she thought she’d swoon. Never in her life had a moment been so
beautiful.
His hand reached up and caressed the opposite side of
her face and he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “We both know you’re a
terrific driver, Vanessa. Get better soon. I want you to come home.”
her face and he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “We both know you’re a
terrific driver, Vanessa. Get better soon. I want you to come home.”
****
